One Flesh (Mark 10:1-16)

 One Flesh (Mark 10:1-16)

Billionaire Elon Musk held a press conference about his project to solve global warming. He told the gathered press, “I will build giant sunglasses.”

A journalist raises their hand and asks, “How is that going to stop the earth from warming?”

Musk answered, “It makes it cool!”

In today’s gospel reading, Jesus is accosted by Pharisees with a thorny question about divorce. It was a hot button issue for first century Jews. There were two Pharisaic traditions in Jesus’ day, the school of Shammai (conservative) and the school of Hillel (liberal). They were at odds with one another, causing friction in Jewish society. 

The Pharisaic school of Shammai was fairly rigid in its interpretations of the Law of Moses. They held that divorce was acceptable only when adultery or severe neglect were apparent. Jesus tended to have conflict with Pharisees and their rigid interpretations. In the case of divorce, however, Jesus sided with Rabbi Shammai, which put him at odds with Rabbi Hillel and his devotees. Hillel taught that a man could divorce his wife for any reason that made him unhappy with her. 

The scripture says the Pharisees were testing Jesus. Interestingly, the Greek word translated as testing, in Mark, is used by Matthew to represent Satan, the tempter. The Pharisees weren’t interested in learning from Jesus. They came to Jesus with ill intent. They were trying to discredit Jesus in front of the crowd by posing the controversial issue. 

As I read this passage, I realized it is filled with hot button issues for our culture today. The institute of marriage is under scrutiny in public discourse. Dr James Dobson (formerly of Focus on Family) released a book in 2004 entitled Marriage Under Fire, in which he claims a homosexual activist agenda in America is targeting the sanctity of the covenant of marriage. Evangelicals have argued that marriage is between a man and a woman, as established in scripture. Jesus refers to Genesis 1:27 to support his thinking on the topic of divorce. 

“from the beginning of creation God made them male and female.” (Genesis 1:27) There’s the gender identity issue. The Bible says humans have two genders. According to MedicineNet.com there are 72 gender nontraditional gender identities.

I am fully aware that we are wading into shark infested waters. Discussion of these topics may cause pain. We’ve split our denomination over disagreements. Let’s agree that we are not interested in maligning certain segments of our population. We are not interested in doing harm to any person. We likely have friends or relatives who are gay or questioning their gender. My middle child has rebranded themself as nonbinary, neither male nor female. We love our family and friends. As Christians, we are compassionate about how others are hurt by hostile rhetoric and social barriers. Silence on these issues is as damaging as persecution. We are called to help others, not harm them. We are called to love, not hate. We are called to lift burdens, not pile them on.

This passage presents sensitive topics like sexual purity, gender identity, sexual orientation, and the nature of covenant relationships. I hope to lead us through this conversation as sensitively as I can. I know that some of you may feel uncomfortable. I don’t feel comfortable either.  Just as Jesus was tested with a controversial question, perhaps we are being tested to see where we stand. I stand on the side of love and mercy. I stand for treating others the way I want to be treated. 

The negative impact divorce has on society cannot be understated. Children suffer. Family stability suffers. Personal and community finances suffer. Broken families have produced mental health problems, addiction, and crime. According to Forbes magazine, 43% of marriages end in divorce, 2nd marriages end 60% of the time, and 3rd marriages 73%. Did you know the life expectancy of divorced men is 5 years less than married men?

Top reasons for divorce are adultery, domestic violence and substance abuse. But for Jesus, the reason marriages fall apart is hardness of heart. Hardness of heart is not a physical ailment like hardening of the arteries. It’s a spiritual condition caused by an arrogant demand for life to be the way we want, and… it’s partly a reaction to pain. 

The Bible says that God hardened the heart of Pharaoh. Pharaoh thought of himself as the son of the gods, divinely endowed with authority to rule Egypt. He had no knowledge of the God of Hebrew slaves, nor did he care to. You can hear his arrogance in Exodus 5:2

“Who is the Lord that I should obey him by releasing Israel? I do not know the Lord, and I will not release Israel!”

A lack of humility toward God is a sure cause of hardness of heart. But when we humble our hearts before God, we are more able to be humble toward others. The apostle Paul wrote to the Ephesians, “submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” (Eph 5:20)

To submit is to yield to the other, to be subject to them just as an employee is subject to their employer. If we revere Jesus as master of our lives, then we should yield, in healthy ways, to others. When we find it difficult to yield, we are on the way to hardness of heart. 

Pain may cause hardness. We build a wall around our hearts to protect them from further pain. Jesus said that some hearts are like a hardened footpath where no seed can penetrate. Hearts that have been tread upon by the abuses of life can become near impenetrable. No love gets in or out. 

Some hearts choke out God’s love by worries, coveting wealth and comforts. Other hearts are filled with fear. When fear speaks louder than Christ, hearts will resist anything that challenges. And the Word of God certainly challenges us to become more and more like Christ. 

Hot button issues are certainly a matter of the heart. Some in the church say they stand with scripture and stand against our lesbian, gay, bi-sexual trans, queer neighbors. Christian marriages fail at the same level as those outside the Church. If we stand for scripture, why aren’t Christian marriages healthier? And Christians almost completely ignore the Great Commission to make disciples for Jesus Christ by never helping anyone to come to know him. If we stand for scripture, when are we going to take Jesus seriously and act upon His mission?

Persecution of our LGBTQ neighbors is less about scripture adherence and more about prejudice and phobias against those who don’t make the same choices we would. Jesus preached against divorce. He called remarriage adultery. Yet the Church has learned how to love those who divorce, those who remarry, and those who have committed adultery. The church supports them in recovery. 

It is hypocrisy to persecute our LGBTQ neighbors by calling them sinful and perverse, while turning a blind eye to adulterous affairs, divorce and remarriage. Heterosexual sin is just as deplorable in God’s eyes. All of us sin and fall short. The Church has chosen mercy rather than judgement toward divorcees and those who choose to remarry. We love and support them. We provide divorce recovery support groups. Will we learn to love and support our LGBTQ neighbors as well? It’s a matter of the heart. 

Here's some questions for a heart check?

In what ways am I protecting myself from pain? 

How am I reacting out of fear and prejudice? 

Am I open to what God is doing, or rigid about what I want to see?

Am I arrogant as a Church insider, guilty of making my status before God an idol in my life? 

Turn in your hymnals to page 8, and let’s pray together the prayer of confession.

Merciful God, 

we confess that we have not loved you with our whole heart. 

We have failed to be an obedient church. 

We have not done your will, 

we have broken your law, 

we have rebelled against your love, 

we have not loved our neighbors, 

and we have not heard the cry of the needy. 

Forgive us, we pray. 

Free us for joyful obedience, 

through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen

Jesus said that a man will leave his mother and father and be joined to his wife and two will become one flesh. One flesh. The scripture means a union of heart and soul. The holy covenant of marriage is an example for all human relationships, for we all share this one flesh. Our flesh is weak, for we all make mistakes. We all break covenant with God. Jesus took on this one flesh of humanity. He felt every temptation we experience. He felt anger and frustration. He felt overwhelming anxiety and fear. He felt great sadness, doubt, confusion, and at times he wanted to give up. But he loved us. In all our squabbles, in all our church fights, our wars and violence, even when we abuse one another with harmful words, He loves us. And he took this one flesh to the cross and redeemed us so that we might have a chance at a better life, a life lived with overflowing joy in the love of God. He removed every barrier between us and God. He made it possible because of love. Because mercy triumphs over judgement. 

None of what I’m saying changes what the Bible says against divorce, remarriage, homosexuals or lesbians. The Bible still maintains that God made us male and female. But none of that gives us reason to persecute or exclude. The Church has always had to decide how best to live out the will of God revealed to us in scripture. 

The Bible says that circumcision is an everlasting covenant, never to be broken. If any man is not circumcised, then he doesn’t belong to the covenant people of God. But after Jesus, even that changed. Paul, an expert in Jewish law, wrote “Circumcision or uncircumcision means nothing. What matters in Christ is faith working through love.” (Gal 5:6) 

May your faith bring you to a fuller love for all people. For we all share in this one flesh as humans, weak as we may be. And we all are recipients of the gift of Jesus’ flesh, given in sacrifice. As we come to the table of grace, may our hearts be softened, and our love be full.