Pastor Scott's Musings

 Sermon for Centenary UMC (Lebanon) for March 31, 2024 (Easter) [Title Slide] Where Have They Laid Jesus? (John 20:1-18)   There was a man driving his car down the highway one spring, when all of a suddenly he heard a terrible thud! That sinking felling hit. He knew he had hit something. [Slide] He got out of the car and was in shock. There lay a 6 foot tall rabbit wearing a sport coat with brightly colored eggs all around it on the side of the road. He cried, “Oh know! Oh know!” and fell to his knees. Just then another car pulled up and out came a lady. [Slide] She could see the man was in pain and asked what was the matter. The men sobbed, “I can’t believe it. I killed the Easter Bunny!” The woman patted him on the back and said, “Don’t worry. I think I can help.” She went back to her car, rummaged around in the trunk and came back with an aerosol can. She began spraying the rabbit up and down, covering it from head to toe. All of a sudden the rabbit’s nose begins to w...

 Sermon for Centenary UMC (Lebanon) on March 10, 2024 Jesus and Nicodemus Two Worlds (John 3:14-21)   [Slide]   At the Pearly Gates, St Peter says to the engineer "Sorry pal, you're not on the list. You can't get into heaven." The engineer says "Wait a minute, I always donated to charity, my wife and I raised two orphans we adopted, I attended church regularly, what do you mean I'm not on the list to get into heaven?" St. Peter says "Look I don't make the rules, you're not on the list, that means you go to hell."   The engineer goes down to hell and introduces himself, gets to know the devil and says "Hey I could make a few changes to make things more comfortable down here." He installs a state-of-the-art air conditioning system and all of a sudden it's a pleasant 68 o F in Hell. God looks down and realizes he needed to make an adjustment.   God says to the Devil, send me back that engineer. I gave Peter the wr...